For some reason everyone wants to be the same human, the same monument of prosperity, yet, we never become that. We only become variants of that ideal character

Three things:

"Its hard to remember that our lives are such a short time.
Its hard to remember when it lasts such a long time."- Isaac Brock

And

"I don't think that life is short. So I think you should stop saying that. 'Life is short, man.' No it's not! Life is excrusiatingly long. Let me rephrase that. The life you got left is excrusiatingly long. The life behind you, it's done. So yeah, life is short, but only when you turn around and look at it. But if you keep looking forward, you got a lot of years to think about. If you don't think life is long, if you live every day like life is short, you know what you become? A fuckin' asshole. You gotta live your life like someday soon you're gonna hit some miserable Tuesday night that's just gonna seem to go on for days and days and days. Waiting for either some phone call to come that doesn't come or some phone call to stop that won't stop. Because as it's laid out in front of you seems to go on forever. But look back to when you were 4 and it seems like last Sunday. So just keep looking forward and keep your good heart on you and keep doing the best you can do and love who you love the best you can love." -John Mayer

"After all is said and done, we barely have memories. So I write what I feel, sue me if its empty." - Sole



The overarching concept here is just that your life is short, but it can feel long as hell. So do what you want to do with it, but don't feel rushed. You'll live regardless and if you die, you're dead. At least die moving in a direction you want to. And by direction, I simply mean do what you feel you need to as a person, but isn't asking too much of yourself. Its often easy to judge yourself and feel as if you owe something in you or someone else the perfection we think is so possible because its parading across our television screen, but...well...I'll just close with one more quote from Isaack Brock.

"Do you need a lot of what you got to survive?"

Goddamn I love reading intelligent people's interviews

Doseone had this to say about his spectacular freestyling: "If I’m a good person, but I’m an amazing killer, what am I supposed to do? Well, I’ve just gotta align it, and go kill bad people."

If you doubt his skills, uh, here:



If you doubt his skills too, just try freestyling. And then try assessing the average 'freestyling' rapper. You'll hear them say a bunch of bullshit with perfectly coordinated internal rhymes or you'll find yourself stumbling over words. The art of freestyling truly lies in ones ability to say just what they think while they are thinking fluently into one direction. Doseone does that flawlessly.

And furthermore, after being asked what he's learned from a class he's taught about freestyling and rapping, the following was said:

"The other thing they made me realize—and if people read The Onion and want to come fight me over this, fine—if you don’t freestyle, you really are bullshit. You’re a fish that if I push into the ocean will make cat noises and try to swim to the dirt. They know it, I know it, and Rap Jesus knows. Lil Wayne freestyles his verses, but that’s a function of laziness. They call it “swagger”; I call it grandma ethics. I asked the kids who they’re into, and they go to YouTube and show me Reed Dollaz, who’s kicking these immaculately written freestyles, and I’m like, “Uh, boys, this is not what we do.” It’s like showing me a Van Damme movie in karate class." - Dose.

Note:

When Everything is helpless, be realistic.
-Sole

To go further than merely quoting this lyric, I'll say that people really need help. We're all defenseless parts of a mechanism much larger than ourselves that we've created. And even the machine we've made is defenseless to nature, therefore we're all fucking helpless. I'm not trying to give anyone a panic attack or advising people to go out and party like its 2099 because anything can happen to you without your influence, I am only saying that you and I and we all should prize our life and our time. It needs to be spent in effort of helping each other on some small or large scale, or a varying and growing scale. Collective effort is all I'm asking for.

Sexual Psychology 101

You can't slap with a vagina.

All jokes aside, you really can't do anything to someone with a vagina because its inwardly created. A penis is outward and almost like a weapon.

On a really basic level, I think this is why men act so much more like the men than women.

You will become a hypocrite.

You become a liar. YOu try and cover up your own cracks and your own you know. And everybody does it. And thats what being an adult is. THen you have babies...and..thats it.- Thom Yorke

A Song for a Better Mood

There are like 2 songs, yes two fucking songs, that have the ability to inspire me. Maybe more. This is one of them. The other I may post some time in the future. But the reason this song is even inspiring to me at all is because the weight of the words used. None of them are empty. They each deliver that feeling you have when you are depressed or feel down and it doesn't paint them as pretty. Nor does it make it as gritty as they can be, but after all, its meant to inspire or help a listener. The song also doesn't make it seem like being happy or happier means you've gotta be completely fucking optimistic about living. Just that you should keep on trying. And in my experience, thats all there has ever really never been: the desire to keep trying. This reminds me of that scene in The Dark Knight when Bruce is feeling afflicted about what to do as a hero for Gotham City. He asks Alfred "People are dying, what would you have me do?" And I swear to GOd one word has never been so appropriate as when Alfred replies, simply saying, "Endure." I got chills the first time I heard that because I was dealing with some female I've mentioned earlier on this blog and frankly, it was what I needed to hear. God that movie was great. Anyways, here's the song: "Dirty Road" by Days of The New.

Charlie Kaufman on Movies being 'dead'

"I just think that there is kind of a one root way of making movies in this culture. And that there's this sort of mindset that it has to be this one thing. And this is the structure of it and this is what has to happen to the characters...In any artform, the world opens up when you take that away and allow yourself to kind of think in a larger and more creative way about the process. So its not movies that I'm questioning, its whats being done with movies."



"I think that film is in a way a dead medium. With theater you've got accidents that can happen, performances that can change, but this is a recording. And so what I try to do is fuse my screenplays with enough information so that upon repeated viewings you can have a different experience. Rather than the movie goes linearly to one thing and at the end it tells you what the movies about.

Statement of Intent to I.

Take what you can from it.

I've gotta stop being so fucking poetic with the way I think. It seems the state of mind I'm in exaggerates my depression and afflictions to the point that they're more than just fucking feelings. I don't know nearly enough about physiology, but it just feels like whatever I feel has to be taken in some undertow of anxiety and worry. Even when I'm feeling relatively happy or not depressed, I bring myself down thinking of how once I get removed from this group of people, life will go back to inane shit. I know it has something to do with my hypochondriasis and neurosis, in the sense that I exacerbate my feelings which means I probably have a chemical imbalance, but shit. The fuck is depression you know? Its merely worrying, anxiousness, and depravity really. And thats what I've been working on getting myself away from. Can't tell if I'm even making fucking progress, but I'll be damned if I act like anyone normal enough to cast aside their insecurity or feelings of shame just so that I can be accepted, have millions of friends, a dumbass girlfriend, and love life more than its loved me.

Something just doesn't feel right. It feels like I'm fighting what makes me a human, and for that reason, I don't think I'll ever become the mature person I want to be. WHich is merely a humble man who accepts the lack of control he has and also does what he can to help people who help him and/or desperately need help. its like I'm trying to do the impossible solely for the sake of self-recognition and nobility. Its fucking pointless because no one gives a shit unless you beat yourself to death just so they can smile and know they'll die happily. And its bullshit. Utterly unfair that I be in the place I'm in when all I've done is cared.

There isn't even any fucking intent in this. Whatever.