Music's gotten impersonal

"Music's gotten impersonal, hip hop persona's gotten vain,
so mcs i ain't feeling you if i don't know your real name.
hip hop ain't dead, the industry isn't wack, indy hip hop is a demo fair.
keep your sights set, what you wanna move rats, minds, or posteriors"
- Sole

I couldn't have said it better myself. Music isn't just about entertainment or satiating one's urge to have a fucking hobby. Unfortunately, its became nothing else but that in the state of what is now mainstream hip hop. Some rappers attempt to make fans think introspectively, but most just try to get their posteriors moving to a beat. Its fucked up to say the least.

"A million bleeding hearts composing prose in blood to live and die a thousand times."

Artists no longer live through their music. They no longer even need to make music if for nothing else than to get a check and get the approval of their peers. Hip hop is hardly even an art anymore. The message is lost in a cesspool of wordplay meant to get heads nodding and compliments thrown into the ego of the speaker.

"Your private parts are being touched. And forcibly at that.
Its ok, feel violated, anything but entertained."- Doseone

I'll now state the obvious: most artists don't give a fuck about their fans. They couldn't care less about the populace of devoted entertainees unless they were supporting them. This is why artists suddenly disappear when their one hit wonder can't carry their weak ass momentum. They no longer believe making music is worth it if a million people won't buy their album weekly. They're just taking advantage of people's desire to have fun. Our innate plight for an ever pleasureful life.

"You're making music to drop a penny into and immediately end the contact" - Alias

Whenever I think of people saying that music is just entertainment, I can only compare music to art as in drawing and so on. The most revered artists were typically crazy and created cathartic efforts expressing their very soul; expressing their being in a tangible form. 2pac did just that. Sole does that. Wu-Tang did that, specifically Ghostface. And countless others that have either dropped out of the raptastic rat race or gone the underground, lesser known, respect driven route.

My biggest problem is that these are the most talented and only truly worthy people who should go platinum and be the ones on MTV and BET and VH1 getting respect. Solely because they wouldn't go spend all their working on a fucking car or chain. They'd actually add something to this intrinsically pessimistic and cruel world we live in. They wouldn't donate to a charity once in a while or when they get bored. And they wouldn't give to releif funds just because its in the news. They'd give just as their art gives. But instead, we have nothing but rappers like Souljah Boy and fucking Young JEezy and Wayne to appraise our rap standards according to. Which leads me to my final point about music in general: if you haven't listened to music thats made you question the way you think about life and/or music, then you taking not utilizing the medium. Its like reading children's books your whole life that reiterate optimism and carelessness in order to maintain a smile and be productive for the sake of being productive instead of growing the fuck up and reading some Nietzche and Freud to extrapolate your ideas about living and what human beings are. A kid will say a human is what they do, an intellectual will say a human is what motives they're composed of.

"Whats content is OURS to define" - Doseone.

I recently went to a Modest Mouse concert and felt like I must have been the only one who truly loved the band for their art. I mean, they perform for a crowd of people who will sing along to misanthropic lyrics like its a pop song. This being my lead in to another point: people hardly feel music itself is something that should help them develop. People will listen to an artist bemoan their life and sing that shit with a smile on their face everytime like its a joyous piece of satiety for them to bite off of. Its bullshit. I think one of musuc's ultimate goals should be to provide new thoughts or at least the representation of potentially beneficial thoughts to people who otherwise may not experience them. I hope this can someday happen, but I know it won't because that would require far too much thought and self-examination for the average person. Fucked up, its far beyond.

Reminiscing...

Some of my old poetry....

I, Robot

A storm builds dramatically within my ribcage.
Dark clouds consume my lungs, giving them a shade resemblant of pewter.
My heartbeat changes its frequency to that of thunder, each beat rattling my bones.
Lightening charges my heart's chambers, shocking the contents and solidifying the frame into that of steel.
Electricity shoots through my arteries, converting their structure into wires.
No longer capable of compassion, my only priority is to keep the current running.
I drain my mind of cares for good by crying my last tears.

Crash

Life is a trip, some just have a different journey.
Stress buckles me down into a seat of solitary plush.
Getting ready to ride shotgun, while I sweat bullets into bucket seats.
I shift in my seat nervously, and clutch the dashboard firmly.
He takes off, I hold on.
He's doing doughnuts in circles, its eating me alive. Each time he peels out, I shed a layer of patience with this trip.
I'm in the dark about his identity. He pulls into the interstate and we swerve with the headlights off.
The tires are squealing, and I am screaming for help....

I wake up in immense pain, trapped in a vehicle that's upside down.
As my vision fades, I just have to make one thing clear....

I look next to me, what is revealed shatters my remaining sanity....

self reflection.

Flapjacks.

Her breathe stutters, and my beat of hearts follows suit.
Even through cellular towers, I know her poker face is gone.
She has bluffed death, poverty, and everyone else til now.
A couple chips on the table, enough to ante up each hand.
"Never fold son...", this veteran advises me in this tournament.
An idea that with the right spades, you can dig for diamonds.
Place your bets, but she never gets lost in the shuffle of life.
Priorities of winning are above the fold, at least to her.
Insufficient pocket cash, but optimistic about fortune's turns.
The kind of personality that still raises eyebrows in awe.
This time....I was afraid the river would come from her eyes.
She dropped her hand on the table, and my heart went all in.
I'm coming mom, and we are going to win that bracelet.

Theres always the next hand. Always.

Knights of Pathology

A dragon dwells in the depths of my conscience. His circadium rhythm is the beat my behavior dances to.
He sets aflame my thought process with a breathe that stinks of anger . At the same time he freezes my train of thought in a cold tundra of this bitterness.
My eye sockets become furnaces that cremate any expression that is close to being interpreted as "I'm Friendly."
I fucking hate living, being, existing while he picks apart all opportunities and friendships with claws of inconsideration.
No, I'm not O.K., I don't even know who the fuck that is. So just quit asking me.
I'm sorry, but you can call me asshole for short.
I don't remember when or how this creature crept in my cranium but I know he is dormant less than he is active.
My conscience is getting singed from continuous exposure to high heat and I fear permanent damage.
But man, until then....

if you can't stand the heat, get out of my fuckin way.

Modest Mouse - One Chance

Haven't heard a song to tell how bittersweet life is that I feel describes it more concisely than this song. Read the lyrics

We have one chance
One chance to get everything right
We have one chance
One chance
And if we're lucky we might

My friends, my habits, my family
They mean so much to me
I just don't think that it's right
I've seen so many ships sail in
Just to head back out again and go off sinking

I'm just a box in a cage
I'm just a box in a cage
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage
I'm just a box of mistakes

Didn't mean to laugh
Didn't know I had
Didn't know the better part of what you said
Because in your head you are not home
Didn't get the joke
Didn't mean to poke another
Just to save myself from some something
Something or another one
Well, walk home

I'm just a box in a cage
I'm just a box in a cage
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage
I'm just a box in a cage
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage
I'm just a box, just a box in a cage
I'm just a box in a cage

We have one chance
One chance to get everything right
My friends, my habits, my family
They mean so much to me
I just don't think that it's right
I've seen so many ships sail in
Just to head back out again and go off sinking

We were all just dumbdumbdumber than the dirtdirtdirt on the ground.

"Each individual has this absurd notion, this predisposition that he has some eternal significance. This unending potential, this dormant potential. This stupid idea that 95% of the human brain is unused and if he could jsut tap into that we would have superman or something absurd like that. All it does is frustrate man. All it does is remind him of his limitations and frustrate him. Its just a concoction of lies that drives men to do things. - From the movie Slacker.

Music.

Motherfuckers say that I'm foolish I only talk about jewels / Do you fools listen to music or do you just skim through it? / See I'm influenced by the ghetto you ruined / That same dude you gave nothing, I made something doing. Shawn Corey Carter.

I think he got his point across perfectly with that line. People don't listen to music anymore, they skim through it.

This shit is getting too serious...

Words of wisdom from Charlie Sheen: 

"You’re a fucking liar. So, you know what it’s like, fuck you. Okay, I hope you rot in fucking hell. You’re a piece of shit fucking liar and I hope you fucking rot in hell. So fuck you. I hope I never fucking talk to you again you fucking cunt. Fuck you. You’re a coward and a liar and a fucking nigger alright, so fuck you."

Dr. Bruce Weigl

He happens to be a mentor of mine as well as a travelled poet and has almost seven published anthologies of his poetry. He's a fifty five year old white man who fought in the Vietnam War. He married a Vietnamese woman and adopted a Vietnamese daughter. For his age group and ethnicity it is strange to think that he would be such a hip hop fan, but he is. I was reading through some of his poetry today and came across this for the hip hop brethren:

Elegy for Biggie Smalls
By Bruce Weigl

Mad bullets crack through limousine windows
at the corner of bad and mad the saddest day when big men fall
how they recall the bullet torn morning
the bass so high to die that way
is not music but you may use it in your mind you may find

the beat there the thing that slips away there
no one stays at the edge too long there's no song
that can keep you or defeat you no one to beseech you
to step back from the edge when you're Big.

RIP Carlin.

Definitely one of the few people to reach a position of notoriety and not piss away all the attention into a vacuum of self-involvement that only benefits himself. He used his status to speak to people about the absurdity of what we hold so dear to our heart in the name of social convenience, or what we perceive to be that.



"Save the planet. Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet? We don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. WE haven't learned how to care for one another. We're gonna save the planet the fucking planet?! I'm getting tired of that shit."

"Military cemetaries around the world are packed with brainwashed, dead soldiers who were convinced God is on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies...our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed...somebody's wasting their time...could it be....everyone?"

What will we shame ourselves with the memory of later?

Today in my Behavioral Research class I started thinking about all the things that we look back and now realize were foolish things to do. People do this in their own lives as they grow old and say some act as a teenager was wrong as it was in the throes of some impulse they couldn't resist.

But on a larger level, society does the same thing. People used to have frontal lobotomies performed on them and no one knew the adverse effects of it simply because scientific study wasn't advanced enough.

I find it a bit troubling to know that we are now putting people through unnecessary pain in some way that we will later see the foolishness of. I hate to sound like the disgruntled agnostic man, but I think all the religious acts people do put individuals in enough pain and may be the first thing we soon notice is cruel and not needed. There are many other things, I'm sure. BUt this is the only one I can think of. Don't be misguieded though, this was not the point of this post. I'm jusdt wondering what will we reminisce about and find it troubling to think about later that we now seek comfort and solace in doing.

Distance Learning

I believe distance dictates many aspects of our lives. We measure how far we are from our goals; we think about how far we’ve come. We imagine how far away our loves one our, or we can never imagine being as close to someone as we are.

I think about distance; in some ways because I put it between myself and everyone I’ve ever met. It seems so easy to extend my arm and keep people at the distance. I call the distance perspective; I say it allows me to see things through objective eyes. All it allows me to do is get further away.

Sage Francis - 99 Rappers

"They don't care what I have to show
I'm lucky if a single of my album goes gold
Talking bout platinum plaques you hold
like McDonalds talking bout how many big macs sold"

Gangstarr Moment of Truth

Actions have reactions, don`t be quick to judge
You may not know the harships people don`t speak of
It`s best to step back, and observe with couth
For we all must meet our moment of truth


This song is a great example of why lyrical skill isn't
 necessarily needed to make a song that speaks volumes about
 dimensions of living most rappers simply ignore. On this song
Guru placed many aphorisms into a song meant to enlighten people
. This is what hip hop should be about. What all music should be
about in some capacity. Its simply another medium to reach people
who otherwise probably wont hear those kind of truths spoken.

I just realized this.

Well, I realized it a week or so ago...and typed it out on my phone...while watching the Conan O Brien show. Tried to provide some structure, but it still came out as a rant. Take it for what its worth.


Most realizations are the moment of previous thoughts being extrapolated. I've been aware for a while now that i have a perception of value...of worth of my self which is based on me measuring my a ability to do what we as a society appreciate. I've also realized that most people can do more than they'd ever do because they don't believe they can. Which isn't to say they cannot complete a task, but they view it as something they aren't capable of. And when I say more, i simply mean a larger amount of things, which should never be thought of as greater or better, its just more. Think of the saying 'a jack of all trades, but a master of none.' Many people can do many things but typically aren't good at one specific task. And if they are, they're too busy trying to be diverse to become enamored with any one skill. Frank Zappa is an exception, but his main skill was music composition. So i was watching Conan O Brien and realized how he has to be interested in every one that comes on the show whether the Jonas brothers or obama visit. He has to joke and ask realistic questions about their lives like it matters to him. Then i thought 'I couldn't do that.' And just then not being an extrovert, not being getting multiple women to want to fuck away my low self esteem, not being able to get any woman to give me a chance at loving them (though its been them who can't love me...which only proves my point more), or cant bet all a's and b's, or learn to play my guitar better than anyone who is black just didn't fucking matter. Though the list may be long, these and more tasks are all things that i cant do. Things that i have felt lonely because i was incapable of doing them. But it was always that simple. I can't do them. I. And thats it. Some other smooth talking confident man could probably fuck every girl i have ever worshiped, but I cant. And there's nothing wrong with that because there is a lot I can do and there are people that would appreciate what i have found unappreicable. But the feeling of confidence i feel now is far too abstract to depend on some one elses approval, its in knowing that I am different from other people and they can do what they do and ill do what i can do. I will admit it has taken me a while to find out what i can and can't do, but now that i know nothing is more important than i make it, i see no need to give a fuck if i cant do it. "The activity failed you, you didn't fail it." -from rocket science.

And as I wrote this the first time, I later dissected what I thought further. About having realizations. We often have realizations, but only later does it hit is with its validity in our lives. YOu can learn how to calculate area, but in math class, its just numbers put into a formula. When you go to a stadium and compare the area of that stadium to the area in your room, you'll see how much larger one is than the other. And because you put that idea to work in your own life, it makes sense.

I had figured the whole "I can't do this or that" thing before, but only when I wrote the first paragraph did I see how certain tasks I can't do were just things I can't do and not things I suck at. Perhaps the ambiguity of words is being overemphasized here, but it seems to me that a realization is just a thought unless it has an application into one's own life. We can all say the idea of fighting is bad, but we won't change unless we decide we're not going to throw a fist at he who offends us.

days

Some days, I'm happy knowing that some of the people I'm friends with are smart and we are generally good people. But most days, I look at everyone else and see a lot of idiocy reigning supreme. People always say how easy it is to fix the world? That it only takes one voice? Look at the people you surround yourself with. What happens is that these same people grow to become parents and perpetuate the same cycle of stupidity which has plagued the Earth for decades. Change never comes.

But hey, tommorrow is another day. And with everyday comes another chance. And with every chance comes the possibility of failure. But with every chance also comes the possibility of success. But hey, tommorrow is another day.

If I Could Convince You of One Thing...

...It'd be that one day you won't have the rest of your life to do "it".

you ever hear a perfect song?

Put on some headphones, dim the lights, and zone the fuck out.
Corbin Agrees.

Doseone, too, is a badass.

i come to you with one heart broken in two,
lashed hands, and many flaw, a man.
in return i ask only an ego that's unbiased listen,
to what i speak of, offers freedom from mind,
freedom from a focused impulse, free.
and not at all the spangled, yankee-doodle,
union, musket, and compass sense of liberty
which our forefathers in holy-wood have fed and sold us for scores.
i’m eluding, and rightfully so, to salvage clear-headedness
of composed fated state of human being no grand inquisitor myself.
i pour forth a pensive, frown upon and frustrated, humble, however furious.
this reason for being here, this well you’ve found is phenomenal alone.
in the immortal words of oliver wendell holmes,
"a mind that is stretched to a new idea never returns to its original dimension."
simplistically, topsoil is no seashell full of bitter ocean body, but it can be.
changing for and from, triumph to mystery, every somehow has a place,
where you dare not set foot and can’t see a thing.
so weave those silver threads into soul-leveled bonds,
and be unbounded no longer,
manipulative, let it go. go, let the wandering take it all in.
generate, make you yours, my masters, my pupils, my equals,
drop, decorate, i implore you, just think.

Padded Room Review Coming Soon

word.

lemme just get this out of the way...

Padded Room is fire, but I'm still letting it grow on me. I'm loving "If I Gotta Go" as of right now, but there are a lot of good songs on there.

Something That Stands Out

Fast Talkin' On The Hustle
No Heaven Up Above You
No Hell Underneath Ye
And Nowhere Will Recieve Thee
So.
Shed No Tear
When We're Not Here
And Keep Your Faith,
As We Chase
The Cool.
Lupe Fiasco

Expanding Upon Mark Twains a Bad Ass

I read that very intelligent blog about humans and pain. I think this is very relative.


It All Comes Together Outside a Restroom in Hogansville
By James Seay


It was the hole for looking in
only I looked out
into daylight that broadened
as I brought my eye closer.
First there was a '55 Chevy
shaved and decked like old times
but waiting on high-jacker shocks.
Then a sign that said J.D. Hine's Garage.
In JD's door was an empty Plymouth
with the windows down and the radio on.
A black woman was singing in Detroit
in a voice that brushed against the face
like a scarf
turning up in the wrong suitcase
after everything came to grief.
What was inside we can only imagine:
men, I guess, trying to figure
what would make it work again. Beyond them,
pistons, beyond the oil on the ground,
beyond the mobile homes all over
Hogansville, beyond the failed,
restrooms etched with our acids,
beyond our longing,
all Georgia was green. I'd had two for the road,
a cheap enough thrill,
and I wanted to think I could take
anything that aroused me.
The interstate to Atlanta was wide open.
I wanted a different life.
So did J.D. Hines.
So did the voice on the radio.
The way it works is this:
we devote ourselves to an image of a life
we cannot live with
and try to kill anything
that suggests it could be otherwise.

Microtrends

I was reading a book in a library today; strange thing to do I am aware. It was about microtrends in America; meaning trends that occur randomly over a period of time. One of the most interesting parts of this book was it talked about how parents are holding their children back a year in kindergarten. They aren't doing it for social reasons, for the better development or growth of the child; the study in the book shows that upper class white Americans are holding their children back so that when they go through school they will be a year older, and in theory more mature and smarter. They want their children to feel like winners. How did they do this? By cheating the system.

a bedtime story

My dad used to tell me this story about Genghis Khan when I was younger. I don't know what this story proves, but I based a lot of my life choices on the idea behind this story, and I think I turned out okay. Okay, not normal. Anyways, dude was traveling with his soldiers when he bumped into a mother and her baby, struggling to climb a mountain. She told Genghis she was having trouble getting to the other side. So you know what the fuck what he did? He killed her baby. Then left. Just cuz he saw the baby as the burden of the mother. That's fuckin intense. Figure out the lesson.

on the road to babylon..

I heard this song around 4:00 AM one night in September, zoning out to music while watching the stars, no homo. Simply put, the song got to me. It still gets to me. Check it out for yourself.

Ill Bill - Babylon

My Next Tattoo Gon Be God With A Gavel...

There is a popular saying that goes, "Only God can judge me." Yet I think its rather hypocritical considering how many of us think and act. We judge people on a daily basis, at work, school, and elsewhere. If you're introduced to a friend you immediately judge the person on whether its someone you 'd get along with yourself. If you see a girl in class, you try and guess whether she's the type you'd wife or just another notch on the headboard. If you get a new co-worker, you try and decide if this dude is going to be the stiff upper-lip type or someone who you can switch shifts with. Yet, you expect no one else to judge you but God himself?

If you're going to justify your actions with your past or your current situation, you should be ready to forgive everyone from the dude who cut you off on the interstate to the drunk driver that had a fatal accident with your cousin. If you ask them why they did it, they will have the same sort of excuses you have, so what makes you so different from them? They aren't any different than you. Everyone has the ability to think before they act, and everyone makes mistakes. Everyone can't be forgiven though.

Intentions, and the effect on others is key here in how to judge. If a negative action had little to no effect on others, and was done with good intentions (A mother stealing diapers for a baby) , it shouldn't be judged harshly, and I'd argue at all. Yet if a jealous boyfriend killed his girl's new man, I'd argue the contrary. Not all situations are as easy as this, so discretion is necessary.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't be so quick to hold others to standards that you can't maintain yourself.

Tracklist:

1.His Story
2.Victory ft. Al Boogie
3.The Cake Walk
4.Fuck The Rap Game
5.Abc's & 123's
6.Push Myself(Prod. Gamble)
7.Eyelids & Earlobes
8.Say You Will Feat. Miracle
9.For You Ft. Jordan Croucher
10.The Storm(Prod. Trife)
11.The Rap Up(1973-2000)
12.If I Die Tomorrow

http://www.zshare.net/download/55635720ed5e3a01/

check out my boy quake, he does his thing on this mixtape.

I'm Late, But This Is Funny.

this doesn't really fit in this type of blog, but it is funny.

Sole is a badass

Sole - I Can't Stand (Pt.1)

"I can't stand to watch my fellow man living a lie"

Mark Twain was a badass.

Check this quote.

"My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine—everybody drinks water."

Now check this essay: The Damned Human Race.

http://www.geocities.com/quotequeen81/essays/humanrace.html

To encapsulate the purpose of this work, I'll quote the following:

" Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it. It is a trait that is not known to the higher animals. The cat plays with the frightened mouse; but she has this excuse, that she does not know that the mouse is suffering. The cat is moderate--unhumanly moderate: she only scares the mouse, she does not hurt it; she doesn't dig out its eyes, or tear off its skin, or drive splinters under its nails--man-fashion; when she is done playing with it she makes a sudden meal of it and puts it out of its trouble. Man is the Cruel Animal. He alone is of that distinction."

J Ivy Is The Truth, R.I.P Dad

i don't know

So I was looking through this notepad file I keep on my desktop where I write random ass thoughts. This caught my attention. I wrote it really late at night. I was gonna use it as a mixtape intro.

"I don't know. Just imagine not having a conscience. Not feeling guilt. The lack of remorse. You could doing the most selfish, harmful, even immoral action and you end up not even giving a fuck. Now add another element to this equation: the ability to conceal this mask of moral anarchy. Blood runs cold in your veins, and you’ve never even considered guilt or shame. Nothing inside can control you, except the lack of control. You could do anything because no one will likely know what thoughts run rampant in your head. Even if they did, they would not understand it. So tell me, how would you live your life?"

Some Dope Hip Hop

The Best Thing To Come Out Of Ross Vs. 50.

Second.

I'll throw a song with meaning out there for my first post.



Rise Against - Prayer of the Refugee

i had to do it...

first!

But yeah, I think we can work with this. Nice, Dot