I am so vastly sick of everything. WE don't even have problems, we have complications. Intricacies sewed to fundamental desires and needs. Sacrifices we make for the sake of minuscule jubilation, hints of solace. Perilous as ever, we are and always will be.

“

All of the problems that exist in our world are essentially the result of individuals without realizing or simply without regarding the consequences that those actions will have on their peers. We are all guilty of this. The result is a failure of trust. But despite this lack of trust, despite being let down and even given up on, we can’t give up on others. We can’t perpetuate this endless cycle of distrust. We must break it.

In this life, you will be let down. You will be dropped. You will be hur. You will not be appreciated. And when things are at their absolute worst, and you fall backwards, there will be no arms there to catch you.

But you must stand back up. We all must stand back up. And together we must help each other to stay standing.

To me, that is what this record represents. It is an angry record, because there is a lot in this world worth being angry about. It is a cathartic record, because it is a positive, meaningful, and necessary way of expressing this anger before the problems that cause it can be addressed. And it is a defiant and unsubmissive record because the people behind it will never fail to stand up after they have fallen. And that is the inspiration I draw from this record and from [members of In First Person].
”
— Mike Brennan of Paramnesia Records

The thing about you kids is that you're all kind of insensitive. I'm glad I grew up when I did cos your parents were too perfect at parenting- all that baby Mozart and Dan Zanes songs; you're just so sincere and interested in things! There's a confidence in you guys that's horrifying. You're all ADD and carpal tunnel. You wouldn't know Agoraphobia if it bit you in the ass, and it makes you mean. You say things to someone like me who's older and smarter with this light air... I'm freaked out by you kids. I hope I die before I end up meeting one of you in a job interview.

i'll be your body's historian. an archeologist of your epidermis, finding youth buried in your skin's crevices. loving you for what you've lost.

thoughts of the day

Trends die with the youth of its proponents.

I hate everything about america except its dissidents.

Takes more strength than you'd suppose to loosen your grip.

She makes me sick.

for as long as you exist
and you believe you have a basis,
don't go climbing up rafters
don't fall in love with the faceless

you will likely doubt you feel something you've never defined.

who would ever treat a man so bad,
well who the fuck wouldn't?
in confusion, we lack prudence;
are two ever certain of love
for one another?

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them. --Ernest Hemingway

when i was young

I yearned for female company mostly because of hormones and curiosity. And now, I do so because of curiosity and the hope that I will not die alone.

There goes yer name again and here comes the tears.

two days without

masturbating. lets see how long this can last.

To be held and caressed is all i wish for right now.

lay down with love on your mind, like it is mine, and we'll never get up.

Suicide is the only victimless act. Both assailant and victim are one in the same, both get what they want.

To love life, one must make an event out of everything. BUt that takes a lot of energy to practice daily.

I cry and worry most over the fragility of life and its incumbent pleasures and events.

"“Anyone who is not entirely blind to social reality will likewise recognize as hypocritical the right-wing claim that the work in Sensation is “sick and offensive.” The truly “sick and offensive” facts of modern life are the social conditions—poverty, homelessness, misery of all kinds—presided over and continuously made worse by those making the claim. Nothing in art can come close to that. If anything, the irony is—and this is something I would like to return to—that the art in Sensation is an all too accurate reflection of some of the more retrograde tendencies in contemporary society.” "


“One gets the sense that some of these painters and sculptors—like many youthful “celebrities” today, whether in sports, popular music or films—have been picked up by the art industry and its operators, fed into its maw and never allowed to mature. They are obliged to remain artificially “young” for commercial reasons. This has to affect the work they do.”



“…[artists] have become the play-thing to a large extent of the wealthy and powerful, and their work takes the form of a cool and self-serving accommodation to the social transformation. There is no anger, no protest, relatively little compassion for society’s victims. Entirely excluded is the possibility of altering external or internal reality. (Why should it be changed, anyway? Some of the artists have made a bundle and are not at all dissatisfied.) There is only the clever maneuvering among and within existing objects and relations, a universe of openings, galas, tabloids, rock stars, pornography and mass media. Utopian vision is absent, and so for that matter is the anti-utopian; the art is largely of the present moment, the moment least important for art.”

goddammit

she brightened my whole day, the whole fucking thing.

I hope you will not just be another girl i remember as no more than just a girl i was talking to during my fanciless youth.

a beautiful young man dies much

less than that

oh but don't we all want somebody we can't have?
and don't we judge who we do harshly because of that?

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche

Staring at the neck of the woman ahead of me, i notice her skin folds when she turns her head. She is a sight, and i would marry her if...

I will feast upon you where foolish men have frolicked.

MOvies watched since last saturday:

Oh Brother where art thou
The Ladykillers
PI
28 Days Later
Ed Wood
Buffalo 66
Junebug
Thumbsuckers
American Splendor (half of it)
Its Kind of a Funny Story
Greenberg

On the subject of Odd future blah blah blah blah

There is no indignation in fun. Rebellion without purpose is easier to manipulate and capitalize from than complacency; the acts of rebellion denote an air of activity and self-righteousness that you will only find among punks that went pop or normal, hippies that gave up, and the falling wave of any movement strong enough to actually fight for social reform and a change in the edifice that debilitates passion - which is very very easy to sell because who really wants to be an average american? Not even those already an average american want to, and especially those who are set in schools and institutions or places of employment that help marginalize creativity and inspiration do not want to ascribe themselves to a very typical way of life. Thus, with punk/hip hop’s originators having their pride broken, stolen, or partitioned, the idea packaged in bands or musical acts then sold is that it is more important to ignore authority, than to fight it. Its like getting punched but going on to fight with a punching bag instead of attacking your original assailant. I can’t co-sign that. I miss old school eminem: the anger he had beginning his career and the passion he wrote/performed everything with, but I won’t just listen to these new cats from [insert appropriate acronym here (I ain’t googling that shit)] and pretend I’m suddenly crucifying the hegemon with the most engaging ambivalence that duplicitously curates the ailments of our Americanized, complacent, acquiescent, delusional, downtrodden spirits.

I am not the man she is eager to describe to other friends as her boyfriend.