There are people in the world who's mind races at 300 miles per hour, from the first ring of the alarm clock to the last thought before slipping into a sweet slumber. These people believe that there is something wrong with this, and there is nothing good that could come out of this tendency to constantly think. I still am the former, and I used to be one of the latter when it came down to it.
I hated waking up with 300 irrelevant, useless thoughts assaulting my conscious thought as I hopped in the shower. I hated walking up and down campus wondering if I was being stared at, or if my facial expression looked too mean etc etc. I hated lying in bed at night wondering if there was any way of shutting my brain up short of drinking myself to sleep or a concussion.
I understand this sounds like the beginning of some corny inspirational speech, and maybe it is. Yet I'd prefer this is more to be more like a "Living with Psychopathology for Dummies".
It took me a VERY long time to figure out that I do have some control over what goes on in my head. No, I can't control how often I think but I can control what I think about. I realized that the reason my constant thinking bothered me so much, wasn't so much the rate it happened, but the content in them. I also realized that when I focused, my thoughts became much more productive.
It took me a little longer to realize the full potential of this, but eventually I asked myself, "What could I apply myself to in order to make the most of this?" The answer: Everything. I had always thought a lot in class, but I realized outside of class it was the bullshit that stayed on my mind. I had so much free time to dwell on things that really meant nothing, allowing me to blow them out of proportion and cause myself stress. So, I had to fix this problem.
I joined everything I always wanted to, and tried to fill my plate up with better food for thought. It wasn't very long before it started paying off. It began with getting a better job. Then getting on stage and doing my slam poetry. Then joining an organization. Then volunteering. Then becoming president of said organization. Then working out again. Then....? Who knows, I still have so much that I want to do.
I learned to use my flaws to my advantage and become somebody. You don't need pills (please see "Sike!" for an artistic viewpoint on this) or a therapist for this type of stuff. Use your neurotic tendencies to think how you can make the most of yourself. It IS as simple as that.
This is a pretty good read. One of the few things I've read that has felt like the inspirational aspect of it wasn't deliberate so much as it was just the inevitable product of being informative. I need a new job myself. How did you go about finding one?
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