About a year ago I was facing hell due to hot weather and trying to get a girl that apparently didn't like me ...to like me. Passively, of course. I'd not be in my current situation if I was more forward and blah blah blah. BUt after it became clear that shit wasn't going to happen because she told a friend to tell me that I was too friendly or nice, I felt like shit for a whole summer.
What I came to idealize was that being happy is bullshit. And I'd give it up only because of what it implies oppositely, which is that everything that makes you upset has to be absent or overcame for you to take solace in anything. Which is to say that you're only happy when something that makes you sad is not. For me to really love and enjoy having a girlfriend, I have to hate or at least feel lonely from time when I'm single. For me to enjoy a good movie, I have to feel like I have wasted time while watching a shitty one.
Don't get me wrong though, one can definitely find a medium between how much you can appreciate a person and not being miserable when you're around someone, but its an unfortunate fact that the we love things most when we need them most. You'll appreciate your first meal in hours a lot more than you will appreciate a snack. Sure, the snack might taste better, but once you get that meal in your gut after hours and hours of no food, you'll be glad you ate it. ANd you'll feel relaxed once you do so. WHere as if you eat a snack, you'll either want more or just do some other shit like rub one out or get bored while watching playboy. Oh, well, still, you may not do that, but these are just examples.
THe neediest of people, the clingy weirdos, the nice guys who come off as way too desperate, they're all the people that, once in a relationship, are willing to do anything for their partner.
What I'm saying is that these needs we have for various things are natural and the way we long for them when we don't have them is natural. There is no need to fear being single or hungry or wishing you had some job that pays more than you have now or wanting to be anything or anywhere you aren't currently. This will only cause you fear and distress. My advice would be to try focusing on other important things that have been lingering around on your mind's to do list. This way, you're producing for yourself instead of diminishing.
Exactly. If you're not in the position to change something fundamental, do something else that might help. And even if you don't, at least you died trying.
ReplyDelete