Though I drove half a tank off in one day for her to enjoy herself, though I made nothing of her asking me to hurry up as I drove just to see a movie she wanted to see, though couldn't find it in me to advise her to not visit her ex, though i even still told her i hope she finds what she's looking for (though I would miss her) when she went to see him suddenly after saying she wouldn't go to see him, though I wept as I drove home after spending half an hour or so letting her sulk in her silence beside me, though we rested in parks and I left one eye open just to watch her look up at the sky (away from me, of course), though tried unrelentingly to keep her from condeming herself for any decision of her own (including going to see her ex, which I blame for her newly discovered hope for an ideal self that is full of indifference and no need for love): she would still not say I am any different from he, who she described as someone trying to convince her - out of his own misery - to try to be with him. Yea, no altruist am i, I'm just like all the rest of them, love. Selfish when honest. Nothing more.