the near fatal recognition of

what lies beneath your own sighs. yearning for women that do not respond or do not reflect your feelings. an immobile bruise. seeks neither to bury itself or evaporate/distill/ascend/whatever wounds that honor the continuity of time do when they realize healing may lend strength to the weak. sorry to all, apologies all around. the smiles are scarce these days, the trust is gratuitous and gruesome: thrown in all directions in an ambivalent attempt to reserve the will to live. the will to live, just another figment, another set of words. if it were self-evident, the issue would not be having faith in the living or pursuing one's own fulfillment, but rather the discovery of methods most likely to ensure fulfillment. the alternative to this utopia, the only dissonant, valueless facade we can will suffering for is that which engenders peril from purity and bewilderment from clarity. is it too much to ask to be acknowledge? i'd rather be a mole on her asscheek. I'd rather unite incontrovertibly with the lips she pours compliments to other men from. to shrink myself to half the size of a single synaptic chasm, and catch an impulse of hers with bare hands. hold it with me until i evaporate/dissolve/descend/whatever suppressed favorites do when they realize reemerging is a whole and a half of the beauty of nostalgia. do it. and then do it again, because love is to be sought, fought for, reached, captured, and mangled until malignancy becomes sovereign state of your hellhold for two. cry out from below, the only place she cannot be removed from. it is her passions that will sew your death certificate: the document will be of wool and some other man's, whom she compliments, semen will glue rice to build the letters. it will read like a yeats poem. your dirt will read like a earthly trophy; proof god exists and weeds out the weak. and i will evaporate/dissipate/burn to ash by the fuel of continuity/whatever young, wound up spirited men do when their lover decides elsewhere to spawn love. 2 more arms, much stronger. 2 more legs, much firmer, 1 dick, much more fervor, 1 mind, much smarter. out done, out done, out done.